Increase your threat skill in the skill tree. You can also buy threat scaling science consoles at fleet embassies which can increase your threat even more. To be honest, threat is the game changer. With it you can really distract the enemy, just make sure you have plenty of healing abilities to be able to handle all the incoming damage.
And concentrate on either beams or cannons in each ship, have tac boffs set up for that. Mon'T has a tac boff for the beam boat and one for the cannon ships. Both have tac team 1 so they can fill a new ensign slot, too.
I've found that distance to the enemy counts too. Remember that agro is somewhat determined by damage you're dealing and damage goes up as you get closer, peaking around 2 km.
My Eng (Feanor) is a solid tank in a beam boat, i fly around 5km from a tac cube with good results. If you're going to tank I'd say go beams so you can keep moving and firing without having to fly torwards your enemy.
Fun little trick.... All my mines are transphasic (extra damage too!) and set to autofire..... make a possibly suicidal run into a group of enemies, launch as many mines as you can, then use Ramming Speed and Abandon Ship (in that order). The epicest battle plan I ever had... and it works.