STO Academy Forum

Subject: The U.S.S. Mardis successfully published!
Name: The Foundry
Date: Sat, 05/21/2011 - 10:33 am Pacific

The U.S.S. Mardis successfully published!
Your Foundry project The U.S.S. Mardis () was successfully published.
Publish duration (minutes): 3
Time queued (minutes): 0

SO far I can not find the mission listed.

Project Name: The U.S.S. Mardis

Description:
The U.S.S. Mardis has been found a drift. It is our duty to investigate what happen here?


Note: This is my frist Mission Project and it is only part 1 The rest will be coming soon.

Brief Description:
The U.S.S. Mardis has been found Drifting around Risa. Risa has sent out the call for help. Risa noted that the U.S.S. Mardis has failed to respond to hail's. You are order to investigate the U.S.S. Mardis.

you approach the Mardis and see it has no battle damage. you send away team over to the Mardis and beam aboard. you see no crew where did they go? after checking the computer data bank.

you discovered some of the Mardis crew brought back an illness. The ship doctor discover it is airborne type. The Doctor manage to stop the illness from spreading. The Doctor not been able to cure those infected. in fact the infected crew had turn into tribbles within 24 hours.

to get more answers you go to sick bay and the EMH comes online. EMH state the saying " please state the nature of the medical emergency".

(That where I stop not thought of what to come next yet. one idea is after further discovery in sickbay. your away team goes to Risa surface.) I am open to suggestion's

I suggest having the EMH run some tests on the crew. Maybe you go down to Risa to see if anyone there knows what happened.

I think they next thing you should decide is where did the virus come from and can it be reversed? Explore different answers for both of those and see where it takes you.

This sounds like a good non-combat mission so you may want to think about doing that as well.

Foundry Mission - The U.S.S. Mardis is ready, please let me know what you think?

I'll play it as soon as I get a chance today.

Sorry it took me so long to play, but I finally got around to it.

First of all, I recommend changing the text for the button when you enter the system. You have it as Uss Mardis at Risa. Maybe change it to the name of the mission. Something like, Begin U.S.S. Mardis mission.

When you enter the system there is that first dialog that tells you to beam on the Mardis. I feel that it should say something like "The Mardis is directly ahead" remove the text saying to beam on the Mardis. Change the button text to "get within transporter range". The objective for that should be the same thing as well, it just says U.S.S. Mardis.

On Risa, one of the Klingons has the name UGC Contact when you click on him. If you don't want him to appear on the surface but just want his picture in the dialog you can do that.

Also, check your punctuation/grammar. Make sure the first letter of every sentence is capitalized, etc. If it helps, just copy your text into Microsoft Word or something and let that fix the errors. Go over the titles of the objectives as well, they should be more descriptive. For example, when you beam down to Risa the objective says On Risa, but it doesn't tell me what to do.

Sorry if you feel like I just tore into your mission. Overall I did like it, all that needs change is some of the text. The mission was a lot of fun and the story is good. I think you need to just fix it up a bit.

I do have one question though, why is it raining on Risa? I thought they are supposed to have good weather all the time.

Let me first say I want all feed back good and bad. I know I do not have very good grammar. I do try my best at it. I think I will try look for some word program. I don't have the Microsoft Word and look for something similar to word. I just need something free.

"I do have one question though, why is it raining on Risa? I thought they are supposed to have good weather all the time." I did it just to be funny. I end up liking the idea of it raining. I guess it could mean the Risa computer system was heck into. I remember in the show state there weather computer controlled.

Now as for Part 2 here my idea. The freighter that warp out in a hurry carried the Scientist behind the virus. What you think maybe the freighter went to Space Station K7 or Drozana Station.

Klingons have gain access to genetic material and are attempting to improve their species through the continuation of 22nd Century scientist Dr. Arik Soong's work.

samueldavidson Wrote:Let me first say I want all feed back good and bad. I know I do not have very good grammar. I do try my best at it. I think I will try look for some word program. I don't have the Microsoft Word and look for something similar to word. I just need something free.

"I do have one question though, why is it raining on Risa? I thought they are supposed to have good weather all the time." I did it just to be funny. I end up liking the idea of it raining. I guess it could mean the Risa computer system was heck into. I remember in the show state there weather computer controlled.

SD (Edit: nice sig!),

I'm going to try it as soon as I can. I look forward to what someone's first effort looks like.

I don't have Word, either. You could use Firefox or Google Chrome. If you run Windows, you could use Wordpad. If you want to take the time, you can download the superior (IMO) OpenOffice.org suite, which is compatible with Word and does more stuff, more intuitively (when running Ubuntu that's all I used). Or you could manually typeset it in LaTeX, compile for free with Miktex, and use any one of many free text editors or one specially suited for LaTeX, such as WinEdt or Kyle. Textpad has support for many languages, too.

But the fastest way would be to use Wordpad (search for it on your computer) or paste the text into Firefox/Chrome/Safari/etc. and let it spell check for you.

Oh, another option is Google Docs. Microsoft is trying to compete with a similar Web-based Office suite (free), so, you have a lot of options. There are probably many extensions for the Web browsers that offer more sophisticated spelling/grammar checks, but getting your cases, voice, tense, etc., to agree in one compound sentence is tough! (Read Language Log and you'll see how hopelessly mixed-up English is, from the POV of pro linguists! Unlike French or German, there's no "official" standard orthography, or even definitions of what an adverb or preposition are! I always have trouble with "none", for sometimes it takes the singular case and others plural. Goodness! I don't see how ESL ppl *ever* make it! hock

Finally, if you use an iOS device, you can get pretty decent pro-type office suites for cheap or simply use the built-in text editor (it checks spelling). Or send the text to me, for I LOVE to copyedit!

Cheers! Looking forward to your mission!

Warmest regards,

Officer Kailath

PS
I made mistakes in this very message (quite a few, in fact). It helps to have someone else read your work. When writing manuscripts with co-authors, I can't believe how many mistakes we find iterating one another's work, and it *still* goes to press with mistakes (despite three peer reviewers and the journal's editorial staff :roll!